“So when do you think of me?” he rested his head on his wrist, his elbow must have been getting hurt by the small stones beneath.
“During my me time and my lost states”, I smiled looking into his eyes, I tried cupping his elbow. In this twilight hour I couldn’t see all his expressions but his eyes spoke thousand words to me without using his luscious lips.
He slid his fingers into my palm and slowly held my hand close to his chest. He matched his fingers with mine and the warmth of his soft palms made me feel secured. I don’t remember when I felt this safe in someone’s presence. It was like having a giant rock behind me which stopped all the wild waves coming my way.
We lied still, looking at each other; we could only hear a stream rippling behind and the crickets chirping around us.
I had nothing to say, but I had so much to share. His words I could see and hear from his eyes. Both of us didn’t break this silence. And we knew it was better that way.
This was one of those precious moments of my life which I felt like pausing with a remote control or replaying it whenever I would want to. Each minute it passed I knew it’s slipping from my hand. But all we could do is be. Be there in that moment.
“Waiting for you, has never been difficult, and you know that,” Finally he broke the silence, smiling sheepishly looking at the ground.
“But this wait is not going to be like the usua……” I couldn’t complete, “Shhhh…..”he placed his finger on my lips and my worried inner world was calmed again with his reassuring touch.
A few minutes passed without either of us uttering a word.
“We have to get out of here, kids must be waiting back home.” He said rising, straightening his shirt. He extended a hand to help me rise.
“Ashutosh… Can’t you stay a little longer?” I asked him grasping his hand tighter with mine.
After few minutes we said our goodbye, he handed me a note and muttered, “Take care pumpkin, I am never that far” kissing my forehead.
Nobody knows. I have been in love with Ashutosh since last 2 years, I am happy in my married life, and doing everything that I can as a responsible mother and wife. But with him I am none of these titles, and I love living that illusion, without any guilt. Today he is moving out of the country forever.
My husband opened the door, I hugged him tight and tears rolled down my cheek. I needed a friend.
I opened the small note before going to bed, it read….
“Nights half spent, words unsaid, palms half touched, minds half read and hearts partly opened would always cross each other once more at this or another shore until they complete their unison!”